Giant Killer Hornets

I've decided to do something that I haven't done before: share an actual entry from my journal to show you a little glimpse into what my life has been like these days. I probably won't do this again and I've already designated someone to burn all of my manuscripts when I die. So, enjoy it while you can!

For context, the following was written after an encounter with what I can only describe as one of those giant killer hornets we've been hearing about since summertime.*

October 19, 2020

Dear Lord:

I don't quite know what to say. But I guess it is the case that You are trying to grow some courage in me, and I get that. I did not expect a giant killer hornet looking beast to land on my shoulder while I was in the courtyard praying. Since (another resident who will be nameless...) was sitting opposite me, I tried my best not to be dramatic about it, so I gingerly brushed it away and decided to come back inside. I was walking down the hall when I noticed that the giant hornet beast was hitching a ride on my shoulder! If (other resident) at all noticed me in the hallway through the window trying to get it off, she definitely would have had a great laugh) I know You did! And I was reminded once again that there is nothing louder than me trying to be quiet during a silent retreat.

I came back into my room to gather myself when I heard the words of the great Pontiff: "Be not afraid." In that moment, I realized I didn't want any of the other women here to have to face what I faced. What if one of them is allergic to stings? So, I grabbed a broom and dustpan and headed back into the hallway, prepared to find the beast. I passed by it a few times, as if to size it up a little. It was standing completely still and I felt it was the perfect time to stomp on it. When I lifted my shoe, I saw that its little legs were still moving, so I stomped again - this time harder. This second time, I saw that it was dead. I swept it into the dustpan and carried it into the trash in my room. I put the broom and dustpan away. As I walked by the trash and saw the carcass there, I decided, "Better to take it out completely lest it tries to come back to life." So I took it out to the trash outside. As the doors closed behind me, and as I sit here now, I see more than ever that I am allowed to claim these words:

I need not be afraid o anything. I am a beloved child of God, and the enemy has no power over me.

This is the spiritual life. No matter what, I will come away today knowing who I am and what I am made to be in Your eyes. And I ask You to help me to take in only what is important, to not be distracted by petty worries, and to be fully focused only on You and what You want me to take in.

I share this because I know that there are evil things surrounding humanity (giant killer hornets, if you will). But for those of us who claim our identity as children of God, we need not be afraid. Evil has no power over us. We do, however, need to identify it, squash it, and get it as far away from us as possible.

So, my friends, I leave you with this. No matter what ickyness is trying to follow you around and hitch a ride on your shoulder, be not afraid...to squash it and throw it out into the dump. You'll be grateful. And the people who live close to you will be grateful, too.

*DISCLAIMER: The insect that was flying around me was without a doubt, huge. It probably wasn't a killer hornet (as I don't think they have made their way to Georgia), but it definitely did not deserve to be inside with me. There are a number of honeybees that are happily buzzing around the courtyard that leave me alone and I am happy to coexist with.