How are We Still out of Toilet Paper?
I had to settle for a stock photo of a toilet and rubber ducky because even the Wix gallery doesn't have toilet paper.
Ok, so listen...I know that everyone is tired of hearing about The Pandemic, but have I got some stuff to say. I have some questions that have remain unanswered, and now is the time to unleash them all. Let's jump right in.
First and foremost, how are we still out of toilet paper?!? Since the stay at home/shelter in place mandate was established, I don't think I've seen any toilet paper on shelves AT ALL! Not even once! There's nothing in the back. There isn't just one lone roll sitting by its lonesome. There's nothing! Am I just going too late in the day? Are the people still hoarding it? (If so, why?) Are the Charmin people working from home causing a lag in production? Are deliveries just slow? Who knows?
Ok...So I definitely have the above question in my mind every time I go to the grocery store along with others like Why don't people listen to the experts? and What's with the protests? and Why don't the people who NEED personal protective equipment have it? I could easily make a blog about the inconveniences and struggles of quarantine living. But the question that really dominates my brain these days is also more of a lament:
When will this all be over?
I'm going through such a wide range of emotions, and one of them hit pretty hard at the beginning of this week. Some people may know that if this quarantine weren't happening, I would be at work right now for my landmark event, the 5th Annual Building Bridges Middle School Rally. Instead I'm at home like everyone else, thinking about what might have been. I know that this doesn't compare with people who are facing postponed weddings or birthdays where they have to settle for birthday parades instead of cake and ice cream with friends. I know that this kind of mourning isn't the same as people mourning the death of loved ones or who are yearning to be with family members who are sick in the hospital. Still, in so many ways, this year's event was going to be special and the wound feels deep. Instead of making new memories, I am settling for reminiscing over old ones.
There are so many reasons why this event means so much to me, and I will be honest with you...to not have it happen as planned is really heartbreaking.
People may ask me...but you're healthy, so don't you still feel lucky? And there are so many other things to worry about, why don't you worry about them? And yes, I am, and I do. In the middle of all of this, I feel so blessed to have people who care...my family (who has been having fun-filled weekly check ins), my spiritual director, discernment group, and Encountering Christ group - Thank you Regnum Christi! I'm blessed to have a safe home and a wonderful roommate, and I am glad that I have been able to stay healthy and connected via technology. I am very grateful for all of these blessings. But the reality is that I also have bad days. I wouldn't be doing myself any favors by ignoring the sadness because the sadness is a sign of my humanity and my need for something outside of myself and my own capabilities.
Through all of this, I remind myself that the Church is still in the Easter season, which is undoubtedly a season of joy. But upon reading Scripture, I am noticing that it's not a season of joy because there's no pain. It's a season of joy because the resurrected, glorified Christ is with us. Knowing that Jesus is still with me in the same way that He was there for the scared disciples who went into hiding post-crucifixion and the people who were ready to give it all up on the Road to Emmaus, when I'm sad or frustrated or disappointed is what comforts me. But I realize, too, that it is a journey. It won't come easily. I know that there will be good days and bad days. But I also know that mercy is real and with mercy, relief from the suffering will come. That's when all of these questions - including the ones about bathroom necessities - will be answered once and for all!