#BabiesandDreams (and Feminism)

One of my favorite things to do on social media recently is follow the #BabiesandDreams hashtag. Leah Darrow, former contestant from America's Next Top Model inspired the phrase in response to a speech from a celebrity who said that she would not have been able to accomplish her dreams without "employing a woman's right to choose." Her remark was, of course, touted as a "win" for the women's rights movement, but there were many courageous women who responded with inspiring stories about doing both: accomplishing their dreams while also embracing their motherhood.

Perhaps Leah Darrow's response was made more meaningful when we place it in its context of her literally being in a hospital in labor with her fifth child. She makes a strong case for women not having to choose and asks instead, "Why can't we, as strong, powerful, capable women, do both?" And indeed, there are many women who are doing both and doing both well.

Social media is often peppered with success stories of moms who took their kids with them to night classes and the kind professors who hold their babies for them. I even look to Leah Darrow who is a successful international speaker who runs several different programs for women in all walks of life - and she has FIVE children who she cares for (she has spit up on her clothes when she makes videos, so yeah, she is definitely caring for those little ones!) I was also inspired by the story of destination photographer and mom of one, Lindsey Roman, who doesn't appear to have slowed down since the birth of her daughter - she just has a new adventure buddy, and it's absolutely beautiful!

And of course, I can't forget the mothers in my personal life who are making it work. My friends circle is comprised of women who have decided to be stay at home moms, moms who have continued with their careers, while also pursuing advanced degrees as they raise their children. I've come across moms facing unexpected pregnancies and have gone through the scary emotions of what to do next and none of them regret choosing life. And of course, I think of my own mom who had me on the cusp of turning 40, with 5 kids at home - and I wonder what the world would be like if she hadn't chosen life. It's a scary thought.

So maybe instead of fighting, accusing, and limiting women, can we please stop spreading the lie that says women can only accomplish their dreams if they kill their babies? Feminism ought to be about lifting one another up to accomplish dreams even when it's hard and challenges are met along the way, not destroying them before they even have the chance to be realized. Maybe feminism ought to be walking charitably with a woman when she feels alone and afraid rather than telling her she couldn't possibly accomplish her dreams with a little one by her side.

Maybe people will tell me that what I am saying is antiquated, that I just don't understand the women's rights movement. But I understand it far better than the mainstream feminists that we see on TV may think. Rather than believing that a woman has to trample the lives of those who get in her way, I believe that those lives are the very one that can uplift her, show her what she's made of, and make her stronger so she can advance towards everything she has ever wanted.