I Don't Care about My Eyebrows (and Other Reasons Why I'm Not Like the Other Girls)

"Eyebrows on fleek!"

A few years ago I encountered that phrase for the first time. I was walking around a local strip mall and saw a t-shirt with that phrase in glittery sequins splashed across it. Realizing that I was not 16 anymore, I thought to myself, "What does that even mean?!"

I had to investigate, and high school girls clarified it for me:

"It's a good thing."

"It means on pointe."

This post is not about how behind I am on slang (although apparently fleek isn't a thing anymore in 2019). Rather, it's about how those teens made me I realize I'm far from what many may consider to be the modern, en vogue woman.

I had an inkling that eyebrows are a big deal when I watched a woman who I really admire document her eyebrow journey on social media. The process of perfect eyebrows involves many steps to get a perfect, full arch. I found that some women even go through the process of tattooing their brows on so as to save time in the morning. Other women spend precious resources on stencils, brow pencils and tiny combs. Meanwhile, I'm looking at my tweezers from the 1990s and thinking, "I just don't care."

Now, this post is also not about shaming women who DO care about their eyebrows and having a morning makeup routine. I'm just not about that life. But in recognizing my apathy towards whether or not my eyebrows look right, I identified other things about myself that I don't see in my female peers.

What you wear matters. - I had a sorority sister in college who would dress up to go to class. I'm not talking about business suits and heels, but I could look at her and tell that she had put forth some effort in the morning while I rolled out of bed in t-shirts and sweatpants. People who know me now would never believe this because something my dear soror said stuck with me, "When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you perform well." Since then I've started to put more effort into what I wear. No, this doesn't mean I spend thousands of dollars on designer clothes or that I won't leave the house wearing jeans and a t-shirt. But I do think that putting some effort into dressing for the occasion is worth the time and the jeans and t-shirts I do wear are clean and flattering. I also think that modesty is important, so no I don't want to show ladies' undergarments or cleavage any more than I want to see a plumber's crack (vulgar, I know). I believe that clothes should fit properly - not too tight, not too baggy. I personally like dresses because they're pretty and comfortable and easy to put on - and why wear two or three pieces when you can get away with one? I'm sure there will be someone out there who shakes her head and labels this attention to outer appearance as sexist, but the truth is that women are beautiful. Why not celebrate that by what we wear?

Feminism doesn't mean getting what men have. I see it all the time, especially on social media. There's an outcry of "killing the patriarchy" and bringing men down. I could go on and on about how dangerous that mentality is, but that would be another post for another day. Should women get equal pay for equal work? Absolutely. Should women be treated as second class citizens just because they're women? Absolutely not. But sometimes I think that the mainstream feminist movement wants not to be equal but to usurp men in power just because they can. To me, feminism isn't so much about getting what men have. It's hard enough being the women we are meant to be; why make it even harder by trying to be the men who men are meant to be? Instead, what if we embraced the special gifts, talents and virtues women have just by being a women, which brings me to my next point...

Maternity is the most valuable trait of a woman. If I was looking to start a fight using one of these points, this is probably the one that would be most effective. Before anyone gets all up in arms about how not all women can have babies and not all women want babies, let me make this point. Whether we have physical children or not, all women have the capacity to be mothers - and at some phase in our lives, we express that ability to someone. Women, by nature, are nurturing, self-sacrificing, and fruitful. We care for each other in ways that men don't. When a child is in a room crying, it's usually a woman who goes to comfort him. A woman is willing to give her body up for another, whether it's for a child 9 months or a friend for 3 hours. We are present to others in ways that men cannot be. Even biologically, there is no doubt as to who your physical mother is. No one and nothing can replace a mother - and only women can fill this role.

And one last one...

Men should initiate a relationship. The women's lib movement will probably fight me on this one, too. But if men are meant to be leaders in the family and be who they are meant to be, they ought to be unafraid of starting a relationship and possibly being rejected. The truth is that I know a lot of sweet girls who would make amazing wives and mothers, but unfortunately men are too busy playing video games to ask them out on a real date. To those men I simply say, "Step up! Be a leader!" And in the words of one of my favorite priests, " Don't be a whiny, sucky baby."

So much is expected of women, and being a woman is hard. Whether we're worried about eyebrows or baby bottles, we can often feel like we have the weight on our shoulders. But we would be selling ourselves short if we merely tried to do what men do and denied the world of what authentic womanhood has to offer.

So what do you think, ladies? Are there any feminine stereotypes that you don't fit into?