Chatting over Chocolate

Casually walking into a friend's photo at 14 Hands Winery, one of the best places to go for chatting and in about 3 weeks, Red Wine and Chocolate!

One of the things I am proudest about my ministry right now is a group of about 20 kids who get together about once a month to discuss God's purpose in their lives and their faith. These kids, whose ages range from about 12-18, come ready for prayer and they bring their deeper questions about theology. We get together for a meal, have some fellowship time around the pool table and foosball and then break up by gender. Sometimes, like last month, our priest, Fr Dan Steele, talked to the whole group on true masculinity and true femininity. He jokingly showed us this photo:

There was also a male component, which you can find via Google but isn't entirely necessary for this post. As you can imagine, the male brain is quite different. While Fr. Dan was able to vouch for the male brain, he turned to me and asked, "Melissa...can you verify this? Is this what a female brain looks like?"

Just as jokingly, I replied, "The chocolate part is definitely right."

I had a chorus of girls agreeing with me. Later that evening, we broke up into our two groups - girls in one group and guys in the other. I'm not lying when I say that the girls devoured a box of chocolate over lively conversation while the guys (per Fr. Dan) awkwardly asked questions.

Over the past month or so, I have been coming to the realization that girls need to be with other girls. We need that sisterhood, and we need time away from the guys to do that. I mean, don't wives need to vent to other wives about how their husbands don't pick up their socks...even after 15 years of marriage? What about the struggles of being the only woman in the workplace? And as we grow up, who can talk to us about what kinds of guys are worthy of dating better than a female mentor?

I regularly meet with my girl friends without husbands without boyfriends, without significant others. I look forward to these meetings because whether we're meeting up for crepes or hanging out at the local winery, we can be ourselves. There's something natural about a gaggle of girls getting together to talk about everything from what we had for breakfast, favorite workout routines, or the ins and outs of being 30-somethings in a quickly changing world. I had a moment during my latest crepe run with the girls. One of the ladies had brought her 18 month old daughter with her. At one point, I looked at this precious little one and I just prayed that one day, maybe 10 or 20 years from now, she will meet up with her friends at this crepe shop and talk about everything just like how her mother and I have.

The only word I can use to describe these times, whether they are spent with ladies my own age or young ladies who look up to me, is special. These times are special. They remind me of the importance of lifting one another up and of supporting one another in a way that only girls can. When we see value in one another rather than seeing each other as a threat or competition, we can change the world. We can make a safer place for all women, and we can make sure that the 18-month year olds of today will be meeting at their favorite hot spots years from now...and it doesn't hurt of chocolate is involved!

One of my favorite desserts to enjoy with the ladies, the earl grey brownie from The Bradley