It's Not Something You Go On

See my red shorts?

It's three days since I returned from a cross-country trip to Kansas City, Kansas to participate in my third mission trip with Catholic Heart Workcamp. I can happily say that I am finally starting to feel a little more like a human again after the 30+ hour bus ride! While there were some definite downsides to being on a bus for that long with 35 other people (cramps, not being able to sleep, feeling stuck, among other things), those long hours gave me plenty of time to reflect on what I had learned during the week I was away. Here are some of my most important takeaways:

I'm not in this pic. I think I was somewhere kissing the ground because I was so grateful to be off of the bus.

1. Your third experience may be someone else's first experience. I was fortunate enough to attend our parish's very first mission trip with CHWC 5 years ago when we went to Ashland, MT. I also accompanied the group the following year when we went to Reno, NV. I took two years off and felt the call to attend this year very strongly. There were moments during preparation and during the actual trip when I felt like I was "a little rusty" and "off my game." In a sense, I had lost my confidence of knowing what to expect next and I didn't always feel prepared as we transitioned from Point A to Point B. My anxiety started to well up inside of me, and there were moments when some of that bubbled up to the surface. But every time I started to think I was going overboard, I looked at some of the trip newbies. From the incoming freshmen to the new chaperones, every time I looked at them, I was able to feed off of their excitement and enthusiasm. I realized that this was all completely new to them. I wasn't the only one stepping out of my comfort zone. Seeing the way that the first time attendees were able to push through the uncertainties and still show up made me want to step up as well. Instead of shrinking back into the corner, I found that I wanted to use my past experiences to make them feel more welcome and more at ease. And that was way more useful than worrying about the next big thing.

My good friend, Kathryn, was a first time chaperone and one of the reasons why I was able to keep my sanity!

2. Some things never change. I was extra excited to come on this trip because two of the teens who went on the very first mission trip also went on this one, and it was their last one as high school students. Their first mission trip was right before their freshman year, and I find it hard to believe that they are now graduating and headed off to college. One of them in particular especially stirred up feelings of pride because I sponsored him for confirmation. We had a great time reflecting on his first mission trip when he was a sleepwalker trying to escape the room with his cot. Now I'm happy to say that he has grown up into a young gentleman who I know is completely capable of taking the world by storm with his head held high. This is one of the rewards of youth ministry. You meet these kids when they're naive and vulnerable and you get to see them grow into confident and mature young adults. It was a privilege to be on the first mission trip with some of these kids, and it's an honor to see them into the next chapter of their lives. They will continue to grow into the people God intends them to be. They may look back on these times and roll their eyes at some of the silly things they used to do as teenagers. They will change a lot. But some things will never change: The gratitude I have that God considered me worthy to minister to them and the love that I will have for them no matter how far away they may go.

I love seeing these gratitude prayers!

3. You can't find God in others if you don't know what God looks like. Every time I see my spiritual director, he has the same question for me: How's your prayer life? The question usually pops up in a moment of silence or in the middle of me venting about some kind petty frustration I'm dealing with in my ministry. Every time he asks me that, I am reminded that the only reason why I'm able to do what I do is because God is who He is. The more I spend time in prayer, the more fruitful he is in my ministry. The more I consult him about what my next steps should be, the more I feel at peace. And the more I get closer to him, the more I want to find him everywhere! The week was so busy that I often forgot to carve out time to sit in silence and pray. That slide in prayer led to irritability, impatience and a temptation to shut off. But when I got back into prayer, the likelier I was to want to listen to others and be present to them. I realized that God was never far away, and sometimes all I needed to say was "God come to my assistance," and once again I could see him in those I was meant to serve. The more I remembered that He is the center of my life and my reason for everything, the more my heart felt fulfilled.

Our last meal out during the mission trip

4. A mission trip isn't something you go to. It's something you are sent from. This is an axiom that I have had ringing in my head over and over again since my return. Months are spent preparing for this trip, and I realized that even this mission trip is preparation for something yet to come. All of the fundraising, the hammering, the painting, the tending to children, is just a part of what we are really called to do, which is live a life of holiness that shows how much we love God so that others can also come to know him. It's so tempting to sit back and say that we have accomplished much, and we have. But at the same time, it would be a tragedy to stop here. It would be a waste of our time if we were to just sit back and fail to continue to serve, and it would be even worse if we sat back and stopped building an intimate relationship with Christ. We experienced God's love in unique ways, but part of our response to God's love is what we do when the band has packed up, the skits are over, when it's not so fun, when we are asked to suffer. How will we take the skills that we learned on this trip to be witnesses in the world that may not be as affirming as the kind residents we served at our worksites?

I have learned that the words "Mass" and "mission" are from the Latin word "missa," which means sent. The word "missile" is from the same root. What does this tell us? I believe it says that we're not meant to be docile in our approach to service and evangelization. We are meant to be bold because our leader, Jesus Christ is bold. There was nothing docile about the Cross, which was a crucial element of the boldest mission of all. And as the 2018 theme to Catholic Heart Workcamp says, we are meant to ECHO God's love by the way that we love, serve and connect.